All these crazy cravings have got to stop.

Step #1:

Stop going to malls to avoid seeing pretty things.

Step #2:

Stop online window shopping. It doesn't help one bit.

Step #3:

Start looking for a job. Any kind of job.

Step #4:

Start saving every cents that I have.

The other day my mom said something that made sense. She said that usually orang kaya yang banyak duit memang tak berkira sebab diorang memang banyak duit tapi orang yang tak berapa nak kaya la yang usually agak berkira with their money because they had to save.

This is so true. I know I kinda berkira with my friends when it comes to money because hey, I don't have much myself. There were times, countless of times, that I went days with only RM 5 in my wallet. And there was this one time when I went for a week with only RM10. I lived on expired bread and jam and too embarrassed to ask money from my dad because it wasn't the end of the month yet.

I have to berkira la in this case kan. Kau sendiri pun takde duit ada hati nak bagi kat orang. Macam tu lah. Not because I'm kedekut, tapi memang takde duit.

For this semester, though, I tried not to ask extra moonies from the dad. I succeeded for the first three months, but I succumbed when the final months draws in. Even though I had some duit raya, it still didn't helped when I had to pay RM150 for losing two library books. And never never ever in my whole life I ever lose library books. Heck, I always return them a week in advance. But I guess, benda dah nak jadi kot. Okay, so I did buy a certain bag with a big price tag... Tak boleh tahan..

So you know the whole saying money can't buy happiness? That person who came up with that has certainly never been broke.

I know I talked a lot about money here but that's just the way it is.

Our worlds are just different.

urban outfitters bubble wrap 2010 calendar

Never I have wanted a calendar so much...

Duit, duit, di manakah kau duit?

Kerja, kerja, di mana kau kerja?

Kerja supaya aku dapat duit. Bila ada duit boleh beli kasut banyak-banyak.

Keinginan untuk sesuatu itu lebih dahsyat bila kita tahu kita tak mampu. I'm flat broke, as I am always.

Need to find a job to kill my semester break before continuing for degree. I'm up for anything that pays. And been thinking to do some part-time job while studying to support my perut yang hanya inginkan makanan mahal dan sedap dan nafsu membeli kasut cuz seriously I don't think I can afford that with just monthly allowance yang hanya cukup makan. Belum kira nak photostat notes, print assignment, all those little knick knacks.

I have a job lining up on Saturday, my first professional (cough cough) job that pays and hoping that will go well.

And already I am thinking of that certain boots...

Jom pergi Singapore tengok Yeah Yeah Yeahs?

hati berkata

Tanpa kau sedar tiga tahun berlalu begitu sahaja.

In fact, bila kau fikir dengan betul, you had went through a lot. Dari budak hingusan tak tahu apa ke someone yang boleh hidup tanpa bantuan ibu bapa. You can think for yourself. And kalau ada masalah boleh selesaikan sendiri.

Three years ago when I first stepped into UiTM, I didn't know what to expect. I was completely zero about how things go. But now, I can safely say that I have found myself.

Banyak benda aku belajar di sana. I wouldn't change anything even if I could. The friends I had made, and the friends that I have lost along the way. No, not even that.

Those three years made me wiser. It made who I am today.

I am going to miss a whole bunch of people I met there. Never would I thought I would miss this place, heck, I used to cabut balik KL every time I get the chance. But to leave for good, boy, didn't know it was this hard.

Masa awal-awal dulu, rasa lamaaaaaaa nya tiga tahun tu. Tapi sekarang masa sudah tiba, and it felt so sekejap.

So thank you guys for making three years of hell a wonderful memory.

I love all of you.

I don't regret anything. I wouldn't change anything. This is how it is supposed to be. I've known it for years, I've waited for it, and now we are here and there is no way it would change. This is it.

The journey for us to be a better person. How life could change us all.

But for now, for now, we are all gonna wait. Good things happen to those who wait. Patience is virtue. I know for some good reasons this is how it is supposed to be, that one day, it would be over. And that day will come. It will. I know.

The control is in your hands.

I would be lying if I say I don't miss you. Heck, I missed the way your hands fit in mine, the smell of your hair, the way you wear your sneakers, the way you smell, oh God you smell so good, the way your deodorant combined with your sweat, oh boy you make my heart jumped. I missed how you would say, "Hi," the way when you had good food and you make this little face I just want to pinch your cheeks cuz you were so cute but I never told you this, the way you make me smile, laugh and cry and try to make me feel better afterwards, I missed how I could always cry and buried my face on your tummy, I missed the way you sing in the car while driving, I missed sneakily watching you and told myself how unbelievable it is to have you next to me, I missed the way your arms feel around me, like how protected I feel, like nothing could hurt us...

I know the day will come.

I don't love what I used to love anymore.

I don't do things I used to love. I don't even know why I stopped.

Needs to find myself again.